The collected disturbances

Beau’s Bons Mots

Hobo Beau's signs are part joke, part koan, part nuisance. Some are about death. Some are about money. Some are just what happens when modern life stands too close to a cardboard box.

GET A BEAU REPLY

Hobo Beau near a swirling technological black hole with a sign that reads, Our society is past the technological event horizon.

Cover story / TechnologyEvent Horizon

Complete public record

All disturbances

25 signs. No respectable editorial supervision.

Hobo Beau holding a sign that reads, How did not-for-human-consumption become a benefit?

Public Health

Beau on Peps

How did not-for-human-consumption become a benefit?

A sidewalk audit of modern wellness incentives.

Hobo Beau grappling a suited man beside a sign that reads, Will tap you out in 10 seconds or your money back.

Street Finance

Beau Tap Tap Tap

Will tap you out in 10 seconds or your money back.

Refund policy as moral philosophy.

Hobo Beau standing near bottles of supplements and a sign that reads, Old money smells like vitamins.

Longevity

Beau Vitamins Meh

Old money smells like vitamins.

A cabinet of expensive postponements.

Hobo Beau in a striped shirt holding a soccer ball and a sign about peons, running up, and blasting it.

Field Advice

Beau Wavy Pens

The key to peons is to just run up and blast it.

A tactical note from a bad geometry pitch.

Education

Can't Read This

Most Ivy college freshmen can't read this.

The admissions office disliked the diagnostic.

Hobo Beau beside an altar of skulls with a sign that reads, The dead prefer variables over upgrades.

Afterlife Tech

Dia de los Upgrades

The dead prefer variables over upgrades.

A memorial table with a version-control problem.

Mortality

Elders

When the Arctic elders got old, they hopped in the kayak.

Traditional retirement planning, cold edition.

Technology

Event Horizon

Our society is past the technological event horizon.

The singularity arrives with a little crowd-control problem.

Wealth

Fortunes Favor the Old

Fortunes favor the old.

The proverb was revised by the board.

Hobo Beau standing near a cracked stone head with a sign that reads, Pain is the crack where the light enters.

Koan

Good Crack

Pain is the crack where the light enters.

A repair manual for people and monuments.

Hobo Beau at a crowded dinner table with a sign naming Number 137 as Capablanca's personal assistant.

Service Economy

He Will Pick It Up

Number 137, Capablanca's personal assistant.

Somebody powerful has already delegated the check.

Hobo Beau building a ladder near a mansion while a sign says, You can't actually take it with you.

Inheritance

In My Day

You can't actually take it with you.

An intergenerational labor dispute on the roof.

Hobo Beau at a chalkboard of equations holding a sign that reads, You can't ban math.

Education

Math Banban

You can't ban math.

The chalkboard keeps testifying.

Hobo Beau exercising outside beside a sign that reads, The body is a ledger.

Embodiment

Meat Suit

The body is a ledger.

Accounting advice from the musculature.

Spirits

Mezcal

Some spirits are smokey.

A handmade mezcal-rita appears in the moral desert.

Hobo Beau milking an oat plant beside a sign that reads, It's inconvenient to read the label.

Food

Oat Mammals

It's inconvenient to read the label.

A barnyard correction for beverage discourse.

Luxury

Pearls

Pearls are a fancy infection.

The jewelry counter gets a diagnosis.

Longevity

Ponce's Peptides

A small molecule isn't stopping aging.

The fountain was in the crisper all along.

Hobo Beau riding a horse with a sign that reads, Saio had his horse, carrots.

Parable

Saio Says

Saio had his horse, carrots.

A mounted proverb, possibly misremembered on purpose.

Hobo Beau holding drinks beside a sign that reads, Social Security is a Ponzi scheme dipped in ponzu sauce.

Public Finance

Saturn

Social Security is a Ponzi scheme dipped in ponzu sauce.

The same sauce, a slightly different orbit.

Hobo Beau standing by a computer and many cans of slop with a sign about making infinite slop.

Machines

Slop Fest

Jevon never thought we'd be making infinite slop.

The machine compiles and dinner gets worse.

Astronaut Hobo Beau floating near satellites with a sign that reads, Build as much as you can that will benefit people.

Infrastructure

Space Servers

Build as much as you can that will benefit people.

Orbital infrastructure, judged by sidewalk ethics.

Hobo Beau near a professor and a parrot with a sign that reads, The parrot has surpassed the prof.

Artificial Intelligence

Stochastic Parrot

The parrot has surpassed the prof.

A faculty meeting with feathers.

Hobo Beau in front of many neckties with a sign that reads, A necktie is a sophisticated noose.

Workwear

Untied

A necktie is a sophisticated noose.

Menswear receives a frank risk assessment.

Language

Word Fire

The word fire is cold.

Semantic heat is not heat.